I could equate having 10 days left in high school to drinking a scalding cup of black coffee through my belly button. I just want it to be over with. I’m not exactly sure what direction this column will take, but let me just say that if I could do high school over again, I’d do it completely differently.

First of all, I wouldn’t have worried about GPA, period. Even if you are on track to valedictorian, like I was, there is a 96% chance that in your last year you will contract a serious case of Senioritis and let down yourself and your parents, like I did. Please, save yourself the pain.

Also, I wouldn’t have taken the ACT nine times. Sure, maybe I got the score I wanted, but at no small cost. Taking a standardized that many times changes you. I ended up actually enjoying the test. Trust me, nobody will like you anymore. I would have been better off spending that money on some hot tutor that could have raised more my score more than an average of a ½ point each time.

I probably would have eaten lunch outside more than I did, which was never. I would have slowed down and enjoyed the little things. We go to an awesome school. As soon as you realize that, and realize that not everybody gets baby changing stations in their bathrooms or gets to eat outside next to a totem pole, you’ll be a better man for it. And for heaven’s sake I would have traveled more. Any chance you have to get out of Liberty, Missouri, or North America, take it.

To all you underclassmen out there: I must confess I’m a titch jealous about the laptops and Eagle Hour and massive amount of “learning pods” next year. Seriously, you’ll probably make your best memories in a trailer. But then again, you’ll also have freshman. Enjoy (I can smell dirty diapers already). Just remember, it’s high school. You’ll never be this good looking and/or awkward again. It’s either uphill or down. You choose. And when in doubt, pinky out.