You’re on a first date; The first thing you notice is that he/she is wearing something flattering, the second is the kind of food they order, and the last being the butterflies you get when they lean in and whisper the “lets get out of here” code. All your senses are heightened due to the ambush of emotions, and they are almost strong enough to have you consider overlooking one little detail, their breath . Let’s be honest, from the moment you heard that intriguing sentence leave their lips, you wanted them to zip it and lock it.

Needless to say, bad breath is a huge turn off. Which makes you ask yourself, has no one ever told them their breath reeks of last week’s cottage cheese? Surely the brownish yellowing would have been a clear physical sign. Instead though, they ignore it and make us physiologically scar them with a rejection to a goodnight kiss.

We have all been in a similar situation, whether it is that kid next to us in class, that guy that has no sense of personal space in the office, or that friend that feels like nail polish is more important than toothpaste. Fact is, we over look and underuse our toothbrushes. But patience is a virtue, reply to their (possibly) innocent potent smell by politely holding your breath when you speak. Remember, if you insult or argue with them, you’re only making the conversation longer; thus impaling your nose hairs.

Maybe not all of this is true; maybe that dog-breathed pre-teen next door really does brush his teeth. He just does not do it long enough or does not change or clean his toothbrush. Or maybe he just swallows the toothpaste. An easy fix to this is replacing their toothbrush, sneak it in their mailbox, or perhaps into their trick-or-treat bag. Give a gentle and subtle hint that two minutes, twice a day will keep the tartar away.

This all goes back to my childhood, where my mother would read us bedtime stories such as “Goosebumps” or “Sleepy Hollow”. I do not recall all the books, but I do recall one dream I had due to one of them. It was a book called “Who Put the Hair On My Toothbrush?” obvious to say, it was the girls brother who applied the fibrous gift to her hygienist tool.

Yet the book had me wondering that night during a subconscious thought process, why did it matter? Why would she not just go get another toothbrush? Was she poor, could her family not afford such a luxury? Or was she scared of her parents? Maybe there was some kind of abusive relationship the author forgot to mention. Eventually my ten year old self narrowed it down to one clear explanation, she was born to be a detective. Searching the entire world for inexcusable actions towards helpless man-made cleaning bristles. She would soon be the savior to all underappreciated plastic cleaners. And the tooth fairies would stay employed, giving out new toothbrushes to those children with cavities.The problem with that scenario today is that even if we attached clean toothbrushes to everyone, they still would not brush.

So you are at the conclusion of your first date, debating how you are going to avoid the goodnight kiss. Me, personally, I would tell them to hang on while I escaped into the house. When I walked back out, I’d give them a shiny new toothbrush and, while I saw the disbelief in their eyes, I’d shake their hand and thank them for a good dinner.